Observations on my 84 year old father, Emerson Fittipaldi edition

As Speed Racer’s driving lessons progressed, he continued his daily vehicle care:

Dad: “If I don’t start the car then the battery dies.”
Me: “That doesn’t mean you need to drive it any further than one end of the building garage to the other and back.”

Well, according to the Jewish Mario Andretti, the car broke down and a cop came over to offer help. Strange that there was a cop in the building garage. Anyway, he helped him get the vehicle towed to a mechanic who said the motor was finito. So, now he needs to junk the car. The same car I told him to junk for anything he could get back in March as there were so many things wrong with it that it was just a matter of time before it died. I got him an offer of $240 which he laughed off. Twice he told me he had accepted offers of $2,000 for the car, in spite of Blue Book being nowhere near that. Naturally that bit of fiction has evaporated into the ether. He has now junked it for $300…after putting a few hundred dollars of work into it. But think of all the memories he’ll have from the joyrides…assuming he still has any short term memory. In his mind he might still think he’s driving his Cadillac Seville. Like the 1986 model he tried to sell to one of my Uncles in the 1990’s…saying it was a 1989. Hey, “6’s” and “9’s” look so similar, anyone could have made that mistake!

So, now he has to do exactly what I told him he had to do nine months ago. I should know better than to try and use common sense and deductive reasoning with Senor Manchild, particularly when he has ulterior motives. All along, like a teenage boy, he wanted a car. But Lou has a plan. Soon he’ll be riding on down the street, waving his freak flag high.

© Curt Weiss 2014