I Am the Coolest Man on Earth Pt 7


I Am the Coolest Man on Earth Pt 7

The ecstatic aura of our “performance” doesn’t last long as we must now wait in anticipation for the announcement of the winners.

*Third place: one of the faceless Elvis’, who happily takes his drink ticket. I offer my humble congratulations. He heads straight for the bar.
*Next, second place: John Sex. He struts his stuff, and little John makes another appearance. He takes his vinyl, the vinyl I wanted, with pride and panache.
*Next, first place: ELVIS AND PRISCILLA! Yes, it is us! We hop onto the stage for one more stare and sneer, but this time I kiss Priscilla. Why? It seemed like something they would have done in real life. But this is better than real life. This is a fantasy world.

Priscilla has her rug. She is satisfied. I’m a winner…in Sid and Jerry’s clothing…

We soon head outside into the hot August night (sorry for the Neil Diamond reference) but not before we bump into John Sex himself. We all laugh at the absurdity of what we just went through. “I couldn’t have beaten a nicer guy” I tell him. I don’t know if he heard me, but he laughed. John may have even kissed me at this point, but I can’t quite be sure. There were a number of nights out in club land in the early 80’s where someone’s tongue got stuck down your throat, regardless of gender or sexual preference. If you weren’t interested in pursuing it, you just laughed and said “bye-bye”. If you were interested, all the better. Time has erased so many memories.

Where to now? The night is still young. Onto Danceteria! We flag down a cab: me, Priscilla and the two ladies who “styled” me. We’re all still basking in the glow of victory as if we all just had great sex. If only…

I had been to Danceteria before, wearing my glasses and a 50’s sweater that had been my grandfathers. He actually wore it in the 50’s…and 60’s…and 70’s. I guess when you lived through the depression, you never forgot it.

I knew the doorman at Danceteria: Haoui Montaug.

© Curt Weiss 2014

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