Observations on quality time with my 84 year old father, day 28

• I bought him a soap dish to put the kitchen sponge and scouring pad in. He kept throwing them in the dish rack, leaving soap and rust where his clean dishes dried. I’ve tried explaining this to him several times but he keeps throwing them in the dish rack instead of the soap dish. As I’m leaving in a day, there’s not a lot else I can do except suggest he make sure he’s had a tetanus shot.

• He is obsessed with the cost of gasoline. “$4.73 a gallon. Boy that’s a lot!” As he doesn’t drive anymore, I wasn’t sure why he cared. My sister thought it was because he had fantasies of driving again. Turns out to be true. He thought it would be cheaper than using Access Transit at $2.50 and the regular bus at $.50 a pop. I took him through the economics of it: “Dad, your car has issues with the breaks, the steering column needs to be replaced and the engine housing is cracked. Plus you need to pay for insurance and register the car. And that’s all assuming you can pass the driving test. You keep telling people you’re legally blind.” It’s like having a 16 year old child who can’t stop plotting how they’re going to get their license and a car. Except this child is 84 year’s old and losing their marbles.

Now his obsession is selling the car. He thinks he’s going to get $2K but Blue Book is $1.5K if in top condition. The car isn’t registered and they never filed the release of lien docs to show that the loan is paid off. Now that my mother’s dead, he needs to have the title changed to his name (he was in the hoosegow when she bought it) and the paperwork can’t be filed for at least 40 days after the title holder has died.

“Can we get the car cleaned up today?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! ! !

I’m that guy at the end of the parade with the broom.

• I got certified copies of the death certificate today. I guess that makes it official.

© Curt Weiss 2014