Observations on quality time with my 84 year old father, day 12:

Today was such a winner it gets a single entry.

•To get to an 11:45 AM doctor’s appointment, he said we should go out to breakfast at 9. Perhaps my father has finally seen the light and is planning ahead and being reasonable? Could we actually eat and get out just as rush hour ends?

Fat chance.

After we get to the restaurant on Larchmont, he proceeds to:
o Order twice the amount of food he could possibly eat
o Change tables to a table for four (more room for all of the food he’s not going to eat)
o Read his newspaper and do the crossword puzzle
o Keep getting up to get ketchup, sugar, cream, napkins, and water, plus have his coffee reheated.

Meanwhile, I run two errands in the neighborhood while he’s taking his sweet time. I finally get him out of there by 10:30. He claims his doctor is nearby the convalescent home in Santa Monica that my mother is in. So, I get on I-10, but, he says to get off at the exit after the one we usually take. After driving in all sorts of directions for a half hour, he reveals that he’s looking for the UCLA Reagan Medical Center. This is not in Santa Monica. As my mother was there a few months ago, I at least know that I can search out the address on my phone and then find it in my GPS history. I pull into a gas station, so as not to crash into anyone as I search out the address, and he gets out of the car and starts asking random people in other cars where the UCLA Reagan Medical Center is. They do the same thing as me: search their phones. I try to get his attention while he’s doing this, but give up after finding it in my GPS. I finally get him back in the car and to the Reagan Center. I go off to visit my mother and a little over an hour later he shows up. He wasn’t supposed to go to the Reagan Center. He was actually supposed to see a doctor about two blocks from where my mother is after all.

It’s not even 1 o’clock and I need a drink.

© Curt Weiss 2014