• He actually pronounces “Thai” food as “Thigh” food. Once a leg man, always a leg man I guess.

• He often talks about trips he took to Switzerland to get stem cell therapy on his heart in the early 80’s. “They used aborted fetuses. It’s illegal now”, he says. He’s claimed that Zsa Zsa Gabor and Robert Cummings were there too. He’s also spoken about other trips he’s taken to North Africa. Big game hunting perhaps? None of us (me, my sisters or my uncle) have any knowledge of any of this. I need to check his meds. But first, I checked the Bob Cummings entry on Wikipedia. It says: “He was a staunch advocate of natural foods and a healthy diet and in 1960 authored a book, Stay Young and Vital, which focused upon health foods and exercise.” Ok…It’s possible. On second thought, I really think it’s more likely that it’s another Zelig moment after watching Green Acres right before Casablanca on the Turner network. I’ll check his meds.

• Despite his fridge being filled with food, he wants to go shopping for more food every day. Perhaps it’s the hunter/gatherer instinct because it’s not like he cares about freshness, based on the “sell by…” dates of everything in the fridge. He’s convinced that this out of the way, Mediterranean grocery, frequented only by immigrants, has the best prices. Perhaps he learned this in the food stalls of Casablanca? And God forbid they don’t have watermelon. Luckily for me, they do have several choices of Vodka there. I’ve never checked the prices though. I’m so desperate for a drink by that point…

© Curt Weiss 2014